I can’t get enough of my husband

Dear Pastor

I am 53 years old and I am living with my husband. He pays much attention to me, so when I started to feel different in myself, he told me I was going through menopause. I asked him how he knew that and he said, 'You are my wife, I must know'.

He said it was a long time he has been observing me, and I have not been the same person. He said I was always turning on the fan in the bedroom and it was not hot. He jokingly said he wished I was hot at a certain place, instead of all over my body.

I used to feel hot sitting in church. I was the only one around me fanning.

There was a time I had painful intercourse. That is something that did not happen before. My husband was very helpful. He would read everything about menopause. He is a pastor, like you, and he told me that he has had to counsel men and women on this matter because some men believe that the women were punishing them when the women were experiencing hot flashes, and were not very much interested in having sex.

Now that I am over menopause, I find myself wanting more sex. I have come to realise that it is psychological because I cannot get pregnant. I can now relax and enjoy sex more than ever before. Sometimes when I touch my husband, he would say to me, 'Bad girl, you need it again', and I would tell him that I am making up for the days when I wasn't feeling for it as much as I do now.

I hope that you will talk about these subjects to help young people. Thanks for doing a good job. I am looking for my letter to be published.

B.K.

Dear B.K.,

I hope your husband considers taking courses in counselling psychology. Many pastors have only done course in pastoral counselling. However, times have changed and ministers of religion have come to realise that they have to help people regardless of age.

If they have training in clinical counselling, or counselling psychology they can be of greater help to their church members and those outside of the church.

Your husband is a good reader. He has read widely and that is why while you were going through menopause he was able to assist you. By the way, you too should consider taking courses in psychology. You would be of great help to other women.

Pastor